Smile! You might even like it.

So, I probably shouldn’t talk about what’s on my mind today. Mostly because it’s depressing (to me at least) and no one likes to read depressing posts. Weird, right?

Eh, oh well.

I’m just going to be honest. (Everyone holds their breath as I tell my massive, completely secret secret!) I’m a self-published author. Whew. Okay, now that I’ve gotten that off my chest…

Just because I’m a self-published author doesn’t mean that I write crap! It simply means that since I don’t have a name big publishing houses don’t want me. Yes, I take this personally and when I become famous I will send all of them a very eloquent letter that reads as follows, ”Bwahahahaha!” And I’ll probably even add a few more exclamation marks just so they know how hard I’m laughing. 

Ech-chem (That wasn’t a typo. I was just clearing my throat).

I could write like C.S. Lewis or S.E. Hinton and no one would be none the wiser. Why? Because a publishing house won’t give me a chance. It’s a major disappointment, but it’s the way it is.

No. What really infuriates me are those people who immediately look like they swallowed a slug rolled in manure when I tell them I’m self-published.

Okay, admittedly, a lot of self-published authors aren’t magicians with the pen. It’s true. BUT that doesn’t mean that all self-published authors are terrible. We’re not. Ha. I include myself in the tiny group of self-published authors who are AWESOME.

(I’m not egotistical at all.)

Point being, for a kid who didn’t go to college for writing, editing, or journalism, I think I put a pretty good book out there. And honestly? I think I worked much harder to publish my book than an author who got picked up by some big publishing house. And I know, you’re wondering, Why do you say that? Don’t most self-published authors simply type up a 90,000 word .doc and throw it onto amazon with zero hours of editing?

BAH! No. That is not how it happens! At least not with me. In fact, I often feel as if the editing process could (literally) go on forever if you let it. I took part in every single step of the publishing process. From that blank word .doc to the finished product being sold on amazon.com. I was in fact the orchestrator of it all (okay, reading that last sentence, yeah it did sound a little egotistical). Truly, God was the orchestrator of it all. But I did almost ALL of the leg work. I mean, granted, I worked with awesome people for the cover photo, graphic art, editing, etc. etc. And without them, I have no clue what my book would look like. I’m grateful for each of them!

However, I put so much effort, emotion, blood, sweat, and tears (yes, literally tears) that I can’t imagine another author working as hard as I did when they have an entire team of individuals to do the work for them.

So yeah, I am self-published. But you know what? I put hundreds, if not thousands, of hours into my work. So go ahead! Make that slug-manure face at me when I tell you. I’m not the one that looks like they swallowed something inconceivably nasty!

And P.S. It’s not an attractive look. Give your face a break. Smile! You never know, you might even like it.

~Kayla Roses